I just wanted to be loved like I love

So many of my feelings went unanswered. Everything I did, everything I gave — it just floated in the air. The more I tried, the more he ignored it.

Every time I made a move, he backed away. Not with words, but with the way he made me feel. I could see it in his energy, his eyes. It was loud, even without sound.

And then I started to let go. But the more I stepped back, the angrier I got. I was angry at myself for trying so hard. I was angry because none of it was returned.

Angry because I felt invisible. You made me silence myself… and I let it happen, until I couldn’t anymore. Then I started digging — and the more I looked, the more it hurt. It pushed me into dark thoughts.

I kept asking: why? why is it still like this? why can’t it be different?

My soul feels so alone. I’m so hungry for warmth, for real closeness,

for someone to hold me and mean it. Not out of need, but just to be held. All I ever wanted was to be loved — in a good, real, beautiful way. I wanted someone to love me like I love.

To look at me the way I looked at him.

The poet said it best:

“I didn’t fade without a season.

You just didn’t hold my hand when I was falling.